Thursday, 29 September 2016

@Phil - Space Pug - Script/First Draft

The first draft of the sript for Space Pug.
 I may need to sort out the ending and maybe shorten the script as it might be too ambitious.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Max,

    In essence, I think this has bags of potential, but your own instincts were right in that I think there's 'too much' incident in here and it gives a flat impression, as each of the various misadventures all seem to be 'much of a muchness', without a sense of escalation - with the drama/peril factor increasing. It would be better to aim for 3 distinctive set-pieces that dial up the drama, as opposed to lots and lots. In your script you refer to the 'glowing object' floating towards the black hole - I assume this is the chew toy that has somehow been sucked out of the waste disposal? If so, I think you should call it 'the chew toy' otherwise your script doesn't quite explain itself.

    You've got a lot of 'arm-based' action here - just remember the likely limitations of your Pug model - it's likely that his arms and legs will be proportionally smaller than his head etc, and I've seen students get into trouble when it comes to animating assets with these characteristics - for example, the inability to touch hands, because its arms can't reach around its body. Have a look at the sort of action you're getting your dog to perform and keep this in mind when you a) think about refining this script and b) when you're designing.

    In terms of the ending, I think you could do away with the dialogue and just set it up so the ship's sensors activate - a sort of containment jar drops down over the chew toy - much to the pug's unhappiness - and we see screens go wild with readings and flashing announcements etc.

    My advice is to streamline your set-pieces - less is more - particularly in terms of slapstick - and especially in terms of you animating everything to a top-notch standard.