Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Wednesday 21st - Story OGR

1 comment:

  1. OGR 22/01/2015

    Hi Max,

    I'm a bit confused by your story now, because I don't know what the butterflies are doing in the junk shop, and I don't know what the other characters are doing while the two brothers create chaos around them, or indeed where the jam jars come from... You've got a rivalry now, but it does seem as if the joke-shop is still causing you real problems, because in truth, there's no vital or legitimate relationship between the action and the environment...

    Have you considered 2 rival butterfly hunters going after the same real butterfly, and your story chronicling their conflict, which includes a trip to a joke shop for one of them to collect a bunch of stuff for ambushing/sabotaging/fooling the other...

    or

    ... and this is sinister; so, there's a belief that butterflies equate with human souls; so it's possible to think of your 'butterfly hunter' as a 'soul predator'; if you were, in fact a 'soul predator' and you were particularly hungry for the souls of children, what business might you use as a lure for children? That's right... a joke shop. Maybe 'The Butterfly Hunter' is like a bogeyman (like The Candyman, for example), who entraps souls and collects them in jars (behind the joke shop, jars and jars of imprisoned souls?) - and maybe one child, a visitor to the junkshop, is the child to put a stop to the Butterfly Hunter's evil ways: and remember too, that another object can be substituted for the trampoline as long as it functions as a trampoline, so a surface that springs and enables bounce...

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